Posted by: tukmol | May 7, 2008

Salary Increase


I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for

the following reasons:

1. I do physical labor.

2. I work at great depths.

3. I plunge head first into everything I do.

4. I do not get weekends or public holidays off.

5. I work in a damp environment.

6. I work in a dark area that has poor ventilation.

7. I work in high temperatures.

8. My work exposes me to diseases.


Dear Penis,

After assessing your request, and considering the

arguments you have raised, the management

denies your request for the following reasons:

1. You do not work 8 hours straight..


asleep after EACH brief work period.

3. You do not always follow the orders of the

management team.

4. You do not stay in your designated area, and

are often seen visiting other locations.

5. You do not take initiative – you need to be

pressured and stimulated in order to start working.

6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the

end of your shift.

7. You don’t always observe necessary safety

regulations, such as wearing the correct protective


8. You will retire LONG before you are 65.

9. You are unable to work double shifts.

10. You sometimes leave your designated work

area before you have completed the assigned task.

11. And if that were not all, you have constantly

been seen entering and exiting the workplace

carrying two suspicious looking bags.


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