Posted by: tukmol | April 29, 2008

patawa ka tukmoL [6]

In a kindergaten class, the little girl asked:
girl: mam, mabubuntis po ba yung 40 yrs old???
teacher: oo
girl: yung 20?
teacher: oo
girl: yung 5 yrs old???
teacher: hindi
(little boy whispered)
boy: sabi sayo… wag kang kabahan!!!

________________

Pen pen de chorvaloo de kemerloo de eklavoo, hao hao de chenelyn de big uten, sifit dapat iipit, goldness filak chumuchorva sa tabi ng chenes!!! shoyan an..

________________

Customer: Waiter!! bakit ang tagal ng order ko?? ilan ang cook nyo dito??

Waiter: Ay, sir, wala pu kame cuk dito..Pipse lang..Pipse!!!

________________

Teacher: mga bata alam ba nyo na ang bawat butil ng bigas ng palay ay galing sa dugo at pawis ng mga magsasaka???

Mga bata: EEEWWWWWW!!!!

________________

Boy: Daddy?? how did i come into this world???
Dad: listen carefully. Mom and dad met each other in a cyber cafe. In the restroom of the cyber cafe, dad connected to mom. Mom at that time made some downloads from dad’s memory stick. when dad finished uploading. we discovered we did not use firewall. Since it was too late to cancel or delete, nine months later we ended up with a virus!!!

________________

Waaahhh.. grabe yung kasabay ko sa jeep sigeng kiss!!! hindi na nahiya!! gusto pa ng girl, inalis pa yung bra kita talaga yung boobs nya!! bata pa yung girl.. totoo!!! pero mas bata yung guy!!!

6 months!!! Kala nyo bastos no??

________________

Hinoldap si lumen
Pero dahil wais.. nilagay nya P500 sa panty
Kaya hindi nakuha,
Pero nang ibili nya sa grocery.. ayaw tanggapin.. fake daw!!!
dahil
nakalabas ang dila ni Ninoy!!!!

________________

“Walang malayong kulangot sa mahabang kuko!!”

Napakagandang qoute.
It signifies determination, creativity and hope.
Sana na-inspire ka.😉

_________________

Atty: Ano?? idedemanda mo boss mo ng sexual harrassment!!! dahil lang sa sinabihan kang mabango ang buhok mo!!!ano masama dun???
Girl: your honor, UNANO!!! ang boss ko.. UNANO!!!

__________________

Bakit “TT” ang tawag sa male sex organ??

kasi kapag may nakahubad TAYO-ng-TAYO

kasi kapag excited TIGAS-NG-TIGAS

kapag natapos TULO-ng-TULO

oh ikaw??
TT rin..

TAWA-ng-TAWA

__________________

A pinoy in New York bumps into a blackman…

BLACKMAN: Hey, watch it!!! you muddafucka!!!

Pinoy: Gago ito ah!!! MADAFAKA RIN SANA!!! ngo ngo!!!

__________________

Tanong: Bakit hindi pwedeng magswimming ng sabay-sabay ang mga kalbo sa jacuzzi??
Sagot: Kasi magmumukha silang FISHBALLS!!!! hehehe

__________________

A new effective diet:
TeA and honey for breakfast
Tea and honey for lunch.
TITI ni Honey for dinner.

__________________

sabi nila ang tumawa daw ng hahaha
ay good lucking

at ang tumawa ng hehehe
ay matalino

ikaw anong pipiliin mo??

maging good looking o matalino??
hirap noh??

haehaehaehae!!!!

___________________

Titser: who can give example of a tag question
Pupil: my teacher is beautiful, isn’t she??
Titser: good!!! itagalog mo nga!!!!
Pupil: si mam ay maganda.. hindi naman d ba???

___________________

A father was trying to teach his son about the evils of alcohol. He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whisky. The worm in the water lived, while the one in the whisky curld up and died.

Father: all right son, what have you learned from the show???
Son: Well dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol, hindi ka magkakabulate!!!!

___________________

Misis: honey, bago mo ako naging asawa, ilan ang naging chicks mo???
Mister: selos ka lang!! huwag na!!
Misis: sige na!!!
Mister: kulit mo!! oh sige, there was 1,2,3,4,5, ikaw, then, 7,8,9..

___________________

INRITS YUR BOCABOLARY: by Manny Pacquiao

TACTICS: tunog ng orasan

PAYT: laban para sa Pinoy

TAYTOL: pamagat ng laban

JENGKEH: name ng dyowa niya

NO PEER: sponsor nya

MOTOR KID: pag-ikot niya sa Maynila

CHECK IN: manok sa McDo

CORRUPT: pagsara ng mata

BARIRA: nakalaban niya

WIT: timbang

WAWAWE: noontime show

DUET: gawin mo

L.A.: Leto Atsensya!!

QOUTES: tawag niya kay Freddie!!!

_____________________

Si Juan ay asar na asar na sa kanyang buhay at nagtangkang magpakamatay. Umakyat siya sa pinakamataas na building. Nang marating niya ang edge ng rooftop, tumingin siya sa baba… “ang taas!!!!” sigaw niya… nagdalawang isip siya at nagpray.. “Lord, itutuloy ko pa ba??? Please give me a sign” Pag-open niya ng eyes, nakita niya ang napakalaking billboard!!!

“Nike: Just do It!!!!”


Responses

  1. Doctor: pedro bakit dahan2x mong dinadala ang kahon, eh gamot lng yan eh.
    Pedro: sympre doc. bka magising ang mga SLEEPING PILLS.


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