Posted by: tukmol | April 25, 2008

Patawa ka tukmoL [4]

Life depends on the way you think. For example, read this: Mypenisinhermouth.

What did u read?? My pen is in her mouth.

or did your dirty mind read something else???

——————–

——————–

a blackman, a whiteguy, and a pinoy were in the bar when a sexy lady comes up and says,
“whoever can use the words liver and cheese with style will be my date tonight”

White: steak that liver and melt that cheese on me
Black: i hate liver but i love cheese as i love you
Pinoy: hey, you two!!! Liver alone!!! Cheese mine!!! yeh!!!

——————–

Amo: mula ngayon, walang magsasalita ng ingles. ang sinomang magpadugo ng ilong ko at ng anak ko
palalayasin sa pamamahay na ito!!! klaro ba??
Inday: ang mga namutawi sa iyong mga labi ay mataman ko pong iimbak sa sulog ng aking balintataw,
sa kaibuturan ng aking puso, gugunamgunamin,aariing salik ng aba at payak kong kabatiran. tatalikdin ang matayog
at palalong banyagang wika, manapay kakalingain, bibigkasin at sakdal timyas na sasabitin ang aking sangkalooban

inday scores again!!!

———–

A man killed a DEER and cooked it but doesnt tell the kids what it is

he gives a clue

“ganyan ang tawag ng Mama nyo sa akin”

the girl cries out,
“wag nyong kainin.. demonyo yan!!!!”

—————

Son: dad, may confess ako.. bakla ako.. huwag mo akong bugbugin please..
dad: ssshhhh!!wit ka loud baka ma-hear tayo ng mudra mez!! kapag 2 lang tayo, carry mo akong tawaging mother

————–
Tatay:anak, gising na at kakain na tayo.. hinanda ko ang paborito mong ulam
Anak:talaga tay!!!
Tatay: hulaan mo.. mag CHOP sa dulo??
Anak:aha!!! porkchop tay!! paborito ko yun eh!!!
Tatay: ketchop anak.. sige kain ka na…

—————————-

Patient: Doc i have problem but promise you wont laugh

(drops his pants and shows the tiniest penis ever)

doc trying not to laugh: Ok whats the problem

Patient: namamaga po eh

—————————–

Konting pampam lan…

Use DEDICATE in a sentence…
kapag ginamitan mo yan ng glue for sure DEDICATE yan…

How about CONTINUE..
kahapon ang dami dami nyo bakit ngayon ang CONTINUE….

idagdag pa natin ang VIOLET…
Naholdap yung cellphone ko.. hindi bale.. i’ll VIOLET…

eto pa,
OPINION…
papasok ka sa pinto kung OPINION..

eh ang CONCLUSION…
siyempre, hindi ka naman makakapasok sa pintuan kung CONCLUSION…

——————————-

Guy1: Pare parang i love you…

Guy 2: stop it pare!!!

just prove it!!!!

——————————-

No matter how strong we hold on still there comes a time that we suddenly fall…

– butiki

——————————-

Things you dont want to hear during your own surgery
1. saan yung gunting na bago???bakit may kalawang na ito??
2. 10ml??? may nakasurvive na ba dyan?? sabi ko 5ml lang!!!
3. doc, ubos na po pala yung anestisya
4. kanina pa bukas yung tiyan, asan na yung pantahi!!!
5. Sunog!!!! sunog!!! labas na kayong lahat!!! sunog !!! sunog!!!

kumusta naman yan!!!

——————————-

Pare1: pare bakit ka tulala!!
Pare2: asawa ko naghire ng driver guwapo, bata at macho
Pare1: bakit?? selos ka??
Pare2: hindi naman, shocked lang ako.. parang masarap siya!!

——————————-

A nun riding a taxi
Driver: i’d like to ask a favor if i may, sister i’ve always fantasized kissing a nun
nun: ok but first you have to be a catholic, 2nd you have to be single
taxi driver: i am both catholic and single
so the nun fulfills the taxi driver fantasy and kiss him
driver: thank you but i must confess.. i lied to you.. i am married and im a muslim
Nun: thats ok.. im on my way to a costume party and my real name is BOYET!!!


Responses

  1. great blog…. hope to read some here…

    Earn money, create blog for money and grab the technology and gadgets, read some reviews and if your tired watch anime or read some health tips.


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