Posted by: tukmol | April 25, 2008

Patawa ka tukmoL [3]

Kapag iniwan ka ng mahal mo

Huwag kang lumuha

Sa halip magsaya at sabihin…

simula ng iniwan mo ako…

“my skin is firmer. my pores are smaller and my lines parang nawala”🙂

———

May bata na nasa bubong binobosohan ang magsyota

Girl: paano pag nabuntis ako??

Boy: bahala na ang nasa taas…

Bata: Hala!!! Putangina!!! bat ako!!! nanonood lang ako ah!!!

————

Babae: aalis na ako!!! iiwan na kita!!!
Lalake: huwag love!!! Kapag umalis ka!!! maglalaslas ako ng pulso…
Babae: mukha mo!!! magpatuli nga hindi mo magawa!! maglaslas pa kaya?? Supot!!!

———–

Son: Dad, i had my first sex with my classmate:
Dad: Wow!! Ang galing mo anak!! very macho!!! inum tayo.. Let’s celebrate your becoming man!!!
Son: Bukas na dad!!! Sakit ng Puwet ko eh!!!

———-

a man went to a pharmacy to buy condoms…

Saleslady: P2000 po ang isa sir..
Man: what?? bakit sobrang mahal???
Saleslady: kasi po pede nating i-try

———-

Wanna know how hindu(india) people communicate without talking??
See the red dot on their forehead??

Infrared pare!!!

———-

Website ba ako???

Bakit ang-daming nali-link sakin..??

———-

Juan: Buwiset na shampoo ito.. hindi bumubula
Pedro: paanong bubula yan hindi naman basa ang buhok mo!!!
Juan: Baliw!!! for dry hair nga daw ito eh!!! bobo ka ba??!! Epal!!!

————————

Do you know INNER ROW???

What is inner row??

Inner Row is that which comes before

Pibrerow
Marsow
Abril
Mayow…

———————–

Mag syotang nag uusap sa tabing dagat

Girl: Hon anong zodiac sign mo??
Boy: (nagisip siya dahil bobo hindi nya alam) sayo muna hon.
Girl:zodiac sign ko Cancer
Boy: sa kin Goiter!!!

———————–

as proposed by law sex will now be taxed.
1. upon penetration(VAT Vaginal Access Tax)
2. more that 10 minutes inside(burial Tax)
3. Upon withdrawal(exit tax)
4. Those who do not have sex life(idle asset tax)
5. those who practice withdrawal method of birth control(withholding tax)
6. Entering other than wife(road users tax)

Kung matutuloy ito, sa iyo pa lang makakaahon na ang Pilipinas sa lahat ng utang.. Mabuhay ka!!!

———————-

A mother asked her daughter about her sex life. the daughter only answer. “Cebu Pacific”
On the way home, the mother saw the billboard and was shocked!!!

“Cebu Pacific 7 days a week, twice daily and both ways!!!”

That girl!! idol!!!

———————-

Anak: Tay, ilan “r” ng correspondent?? isa o dalawa???

Tatay: Tatluhin mo na para sure!!!

———————-

Pasyente: Magkano ang facelift???

Doktora: Complete treatment ay P145,000

Pasyente: mahal!!! ano bang pinakamurang treatment para magmukha akong bata??

Doktora: eto tsupon, P20 lang!!!


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