Posted by: tukmol | April 24, 2008

Subukan mo namang tumawa..

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A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, told him that he would now need to enter a password. Something he will use to log on. The husband was in a rather humorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife’s attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife what he was keying in. “P….E….N….I….S..” His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied: **** PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH*****

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Madre: ano ang apelyido mo iho? Lalake: alam niyo na po yun sister! lagi niyo pong hinahawakan yun! Madre: HA!? BAYAG ANG APELYIDO MO??? Lalake: sister naman! Rosario po ang apelyido ko

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The Setting: Pageant Night Ms. Universe Beauty Pageant Q&A Portion. The Finalists: Ms. America -Ms. Spain – Ms. Britain – Ms. Iran -Ms. India – Ms. Philippines – Question: Ms. America, how do you describe a male organ in your country? Ms. America: Well, I would say that, male organs in America are like gentlemen. Q: Why do you say that? Ms. America: Because it stands everytime it sees a woman. (Applause..Applause) Q: Ms. Spain, how do you describe a male organ in your country? Ms. Spain: Male organs in our country are like toros in our very own bullfight. Q: Why do you say that? Ms. Spain: Because it charges everytime it sees an opening. (Applause..Applause) Q: Ms. Britain, how would you describe a male organ in your country? Ms. Britain: Male organs in our country are like Shakespearian actors. Q: Why do you say that? Ms. Britain: Because it cries after every performance. (Applause..Applause) Q: Ms. Iran, how would you describe a male organ in you country? Ms. Iran: Well, I can say that male organs in our country are like thieves. Q: Why? Ms. Iran: Because they always enter thru the back door. (Applause..Applause) Q: Ms. India, how would you describe a male organ in your country? Ms. India: A male organ in our country is like a laborer. Q: Why do you say that? Ms. India: Because it works day and night. (Applause..Applause) Q: Ms. Philippines, how would you describe a male organ in your country? Ms. Philippines: Ahh..well, opcors, hi,hi,hi…I can say dat male organs in ourcountry are like chismis! Q: Chismis? Ms. Philippines: Ayy sorry!!..It’s ano..Kuwan…It means GOSSIP in our language. Q: Hmm..Interesting comparison..And why do you say that? Ms. Philippines: Ayy..diyahe!! Hihihi, Kasi…I mean…Because…it passes frommouth to mouth. (STANDING OVATION)

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Tanong: Anong pinagkaiba ng secretary sa sexytary?…….. ang secretary sinasabi sa boss nya na…. Gud Mrning Sir…..samntlang ang sexytary ay ngsasabing…. SIR, SIR MORNING NA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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In a hotel elevator, A man accidentally elbows the lady’s breast Man: If ur heart is as soft as ur breast, u will 4give me….. Lady: If ur BIRD is as hard as ur elbow, I’M IN RUM 23!!!!!!

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ANAK: mommy tignan nio may ahas kay daddy.. MOMMY: oo nga eh,,kaya nga inupuan ko para mamatay.. ANAK: ay mas matapang pa pala sainyo yaya, kasi kanina kinain niya yung ahas nidaddy…

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Alam mo ba na ang buhok mo sa puwet ay karugtong ng pilik mata? Its true! subukanmong hilain mapapapikit ka! sigurado yan! Try mo!

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Nanay: anak ano tong zero sa test paper mo? Anak: Nay hindi po yan zero, naubusan po kasi ng star si maam kaya binigyan nya akong moon.


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